All We Are
by StarofQueens
Summary: After a night of looking for comfort, Ziva is acting strange. Set after Good Cop Bad Cop. AU Jenny is still alive, TIVA, JIBBS, My first NCIS ff so please give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is my first NCIS fanfic so please just give it a try. The story is set in s7 appr. a month after _Good Cop Bad Cop_. This story is AU because Jenny is still alive and never had an illness. Everything from season 3-5 happened except that Jenny was saved in JD.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Just the story is my idea.  
**Spoilers:** Season 7  
**Pairings:** Tiva, Jibbs maybe McAbby

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_**All We Are**_

_**Chapter 1:**_

It was a usual day at NCIS. With just one exception. Ziva David, Junior Agent and former Mossad liaison Officer at Special Agent Gibbs' team, wasn't feeling well. It wasn't the first time this week that her stomach was on a roller-coaster ride but today it was worse than ever.

She was taking a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the nauseous feeling.

"You ok, Ziver?" Gibbs asked. He had observed her for a while and noticed that she looked slightly paler than usual; even with her honey toned skin someone who knew her could tell that something was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she answered. "You don't look fine." Gibbs replied with a glare. "I'm fine, really. Just a bit dizzy, that's all." she told him and got up to head to the restroom.

As she arrived at the ladies room, she closed the door, lent against the wall and closed her eyes again.

"You ok?" a voice said in front of her. Ziva jumped slightly and opened her eyes.

In front of her stood Jenny Shepard, Director of NCIS and one of her best friends in America.

A strong wave of nausea hit her and she took a deep breath. Not exhaling she nods. "Really?" Jenny asked concerned. Ziva wanted to nod but then another wave of nausea hit her and she couldn't take it any longer and she ran into the nearest stall and threw up. Jenny came to her and held her hair while she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

When she was finished she closed her eyes and sat against the wall.

"You feeling better now?" Jenny asked. "Yeah, thanks." she answered hoarsely. "I'll get you some water and tell Gibbs to send you home."

"No, you don't need to. I'm already feeling better." Ziva replied and got up. She walked over to the sink and rinsed her mouth then she brushed past Jenny and left the restroom.

"Ziva!" Jenny called and rushed after her. "What?" Ziva yelled "Leave me alone I told you I'm fine. I probably just ate something bad. No need to worry."

The whole bullpen looked up at the yelling and Gibbs asked "What's going on?"

"Nothing, why keeps everyone asking how I'm doing? For the last time: I said I'm fine!" Ziva shouted exasperated.

"Ziva, you are not fine if you throw up without a reason." Jenny said softly.

Ziva turned to look at here friend, furious. "I don't remember you being such a tale teller, Jenny!"

"It's tattle-tale!" McGee shouted over to them.

"That's beside the point!" Ziva growled. "Hey, David! Calm down! I can't remember that you can't control your emotions." Gibbs said gruffly.

Ziva stopped dead in her tracks. Realization hit her and she felt embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed red and she buried her face in her hands.

"Ziva, go home, get some rest and come back tomorrow." Gibbs told her and walked back to his desk. Ziva went to her own desk and gathered her things. She looked up and saw that Tony was looking at her curiously from his desk and followed her with his eyes as she walked to the elevator and pressed the down button.

**xXx**

Forty minutes and a _normal _car ride later, she didn't want to put someone in more danger with her driving than usual with her current state of mind, she arrived at her apartment and went into her living room. She sat on her couch and let her eyes drift over to her calendar on the wall. She blinked and got up, walked over to it and studied it.

There was no monthly mark. She switched back to the previous month and counted forward to today. _She was late_. It was a normal occurrence that she was late sometimes with her job, the stress and the events from Somalia but considering the events from last month she got her car keys and got out of her apartment and on the way back to NCIS Headquarters.

**xXx**

When Ziva arrived at HQ, she parked her car at her assigned place and checked in. As she walked over to the elevator she felt the suspicious looks of the guards on her back. Great, they must have heard what happened. I'm already thought to be crazy, all that's missing is a call and I have to go into treatment.

She pressed the down button and got in the elevator, fortunately it was empty so she didn't have to listen to chatter. She arrived at Abby's lab and could already hear the loud music banging in the rooms. She saw Abby with her back to her at one of her desks so Ziva walked over to the stereo and turned down the volume.

"Hey!" Abby shouted and turned around and glared at the intruder but when she saw who it was her face softened. She ran over to Ziva and gave her a tight hug.

"Ziva, are you ok? I heard what happened and I got so worried and Tony told me that you had to go home and wait…" Abby started rambling but then stopped as she realized that Ziva left only two hours ago. "What are you doing here when you are sick? You should be home and rest and not be hear and breathe in toxic gas and, and mgh mpf…" Abby continued but Ziva clamed her hand over her mouth and the words got muffled.

"Will you stop talking and let me explain?" Ziva asked as she removed her hand from Abby's mouth. Abby nodded "Ok, shoot."

"I need you to do me a favor but you can't tell anyone that I'm here and what you are doing for me, ok?"

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_Please R&R_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **So here is the new chapter. Sorry it got delayed so long but I was busy with school and we got a new computer and it isn't even fully set up. The next chapter will take a little longer because I get surgery on tuesday and then I will be the 'one armed woman'.

English is not my first language so all mistakes are mine.

Thanks for all the alterts, favorites and great reviews.

And I wish you all Merry Christmas.

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_**Chapter 2:**_

"Ok, I will always help you, Ziva, no matter what." Abby said and her face beamed with joy and Ziva relaxed a little.

"I need you to make a pregnancy test for me and so far I know is the best method with a blood sample, so you have to draw blood, too. You only have to do it if you want to. I don't force you into anything." Ziva told her.

"Oh, no that's ok, I can draw blood. That's one of the secret abilities of Abby Sciuto. And you know I'm curious and usually I would have asked why you need to do this and how and why and when but today I make an exception because you are not feeling well. So I need your artery and it's not much I need but you have to wait a couple hours and…" "ABBY!" Ziva shouted. "I got it. Please just do it and hurry up. Is it ok for you that I hide in your office while you run the test?"

"Yeah, of course. And I won't let anyone in."

**xXx**

Two hours of hiding later, the doors swift open and Abby came into the office. "I'm finished. You wanna read it or shall I?" She asks.

"No, you do it. I just want to get over this and… well yeah. There's just so much to do when I really am pregnant so just do it."

"OK…" Abby folded open the sheet of paper and read. "It is… positive! You are pregnant. Congrats!" She beamed and pulled Ziva into a hug. She quickly pulled as she got no response from Ziva and after she looked at Ziva's expressionless face she hugged her again and apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's ok, Abby." Ziva told her quietly. I really am pregnant."I'm still processing the news. I mean, I kind of knew that I might be pregnant but now…" "Do you know who the father is?" Abby asked softly. Ziva nodded. "Of course."

_***Flashback***_

One month earlier

_She was standing in front of his apartment considering if she should knock or leave him alone with her problems._

_Today was horrible. As the whole thing with the Damocles came out everyone treated her like something disgusting. They look at her with pity in their eyes, pity and disgust. Only her friends showed other emotions. Worry, concern, love. And Tony, jealousy._

_They showed emotions of caring, comfort, things she didn't deserve. She betrayed them, didn't trust them. She regretted it. But she knew that Tony and Gibbs already forgave her._

_And she forgave Tony._

_She knew he blamed himself for what happened to her. First she blamed him for killing Michael but she had every right to. She didn't believe him that he just wanted to talk to her, alone. Didn't believe him he didn't kill Michael on purpose, out of jealousy. She had put the life of her "boyfriend" over the life of her long term partner, her best friend. She didn't believe he was telling the truth._

_Until she learned it on the hard way._

_But he came for her saved her live. He didn't give up on her while everyone else thought she was dead. Couldn't live without you, I guess. His words still lingered in her eyes, even after months._

_She took all her courage and knocked at his door. After a couple seconds he opened it. She could smell the beer he already had drunk but she wasn't surprised. Today took a toll on him, too._

"_Hey!" he greeted her and stepped aside. She went in without words. _

_They talked for hours about random stuff, their friends, the tricky relationship of Jenny and Gibbs but they avoided difficult topics like Rivkin and Somalia. The alcohol flew like water as the hours passed and with every hour the awkward tension between them eased a bit. They watched a movie like they usually did before the events of this summer._

_When the movie ended and the ending credits started Ziva got up from the couch and he repeated her motion._

"_I should go home" Ziva slurred drunkenly. "Thank you Tony, for listening." "No problem. But you can stay here; you are too drunk to drive. You can sleep in my spare room." He told her. "Thanks, but I got no clothes to change." She told him, trying to reject his offer._

"_No problem. You can have a shirt from me." He told her and went into his bedroom to get a shirt. "Thanks. I go change then." She said as he gave her one of his OSU shirts and she it and went into the bathroom. As she pulled the shirt over her head she smelled it and breathed in his delicious scent. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. His scent was the drug she was addicted to. She opened her eyes again and went back into the living room._

_Tony looked at her and gave her the once over. She looks hot in my shirt, he thought while he walked over to her and stopped in front of her. A loose curl was hanging in her face and he gently brushed it away. His hand lingered on her cheek and they looked eyes._

"_You are beautiful, Zee:" he told her and she blushed slightly. Jolts of electricity were running up and down her spine when she felt his hot breath on her face. He smelled like alcohol, mint and what she secretly called Eau de DiNozzo. The leant closer together and their lips touched lightly. They had to suppress the shudders that the feeling of the kiss awakened in them._

_It was a gentle kiss but they soon deepened it until they had to pull away to breaths. Tony cupped both of her cheeks leant his forehead against hers._

"_Wow" she whispered. "Yeah, wow" he replied and kissed her again but this time with more force and Ziva responded with the same passion. _

_He led her over to his bedroom where they spent a night full of passion and love making._

**xXx**

_The next morning she woke up, before Tony, of course. She looked at his peaceful sleeping form and got out of his bed and gathered her things. She put on her clothes and left his room, looking back a last time._

_When they were at work that day, they acted like nothing had happened and neither of them had brought up the topic. But then she came to the conclusion that he couldn't even remember what happened and she felt hurt and disappointment. She knew the he probably had a heavy hangover but she still hoped that he would remember over some time. _

_The last words he told her before he wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep still lingered in her ears._

_***End Flashback***_

A silent tear rolled over her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Abby snapped her out of her thoughts. "Are you going to keep it?" she asked softly. Ziva nodded. _It's the only thing I got from him and probably ever will get. _

"So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to tell the father?" "Of course, Abby. He has a right to know but he probably doesn't want anything to do with it." She told Abby and got up.

"Where are you going? Are you going to tell him now?" "Yes but first I have to talk to Jenny." she said and left the lab. She got in the elevator and pressed the button up to the bullpen.

Everyone of Gibbs' team looked up at the famous _ding _of the elevator and Ziva stepped out. When Gibbs saw her, he walked over to her and gave her his death glare. "I thought I told you to got home and to not come back until tomorrow." he said. Ziva avoided his stare. "I was home but I had to do something and now I have to talk to the Director." She rounded Gibbs and climbed the stairs. When she reached the catwalk Gibbs called "When did you come back?" "Two hours ago." She said and opened the door to the office.

When Ziva entered Cynthia looked up and told her that she could go right in. Ziva went in and Jenny looked up. "Hello Ziva. Please, take a seat. What can I do for you?"

"Well... this is rather difficult for me to ask..." Ziva stuttered while she sat down in front of Jenny. She took a deep breath and tried again. "I need maternity leave in a couple months."

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**A/N2:** Has anyone the new soundtrack already? I think when they are going to play the song _Move Slow _something is happening.

Please R&R!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_So here is the new chapter, I hope you like it. Thanks for all the reviews._

_Sorry when the last chapter was too messed up. I wrote it at my best friend's house and we were in a hurry so I didn't have enough time and it wasn't finished then. So my best friend couldn't read it because she is usually my beta. _

_I hope the last part in italics isn't wrong because I'm rather new to this kinda stuff and maybe I'm trying an M rated chapter later on in the story._

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter 3**

"_I need maternity leave in a couple months." Ziva stuttered._

"You what?" Jenny asked stunned as she removed her glasses from her nose, stood up and walked around her desk. She stopped in front of Ziva and looked her in the eyes. Ziva, who was too embarrassed, turned her head and looked away.

"Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way." Jenny knelt down and hugged Ziva tightly. Ziva hugged her back and broke down completely. She tried to hold back the tears and sobs but she gave up. She was tired of always trying to be the strong one. Tears flew down her face, soaking Jenny's blouse on her shoulder.

"It wasn't supposed to happen." she choked out. Jenny patted her back and drew small circles on it. "Sh, everything is going to be alright."

Ten minutes later Ziva stopped sobbing and pulled back. "Thank you, Jen. For being here." "Anytime, Ziva. I know I haven't been a good friend lately but whenever you need a day off or just someone to talk to I will be here for you."

"Thanks, Jen." Ziva said and hugged Jenny again. "So, what are you going to do now?" Jenny asked softly. She didn't want Ziva to close up on her again.

"Well, I am going to tell the father and then I am going to raise the child alone."

"Why alone?" "Because I know the father would never commit to a woman pregnant with his child when he doesn't love her and he will never love me so I am all alone."

"No, Ziva, you are not alone. You have me, Abby, Gibbs, Tony, McGee and Ducky, even Palmer. We are your friends."

"Tony would never help me. I know him." "No, he changed. You are his partner, his best friend. He would never let you down."

"Yeah, his best friend. That is all I will ever be." Ziva snorted. "What do you mean?" Jenny asked confused. "Don't you get it? He is the father, Jen. He will never help me!" she shouted angry.

Suddenly the door banged open and Gibbs came in. "WHAT the hell is going on? Who is whose father?"

Ziva and Jenny jumped and looked surprised at Gibbs.

"Agent Gibbs, we had a private conversation. It is none of your business unless Agent David is ready to tell you." the Director stated icily.

"I don't care if this is private. I wanna know. NOW!" he shouted at them.

Ziva's face went pale and indicated to Jenny that she could tell him.

"Ziva is pregnant and Tony is the father." Jen said bluntly. "You, what?" he shouted at Ziva. Her face grew even paler and tears streamed from her eyes again.

"Jethro, leave her alone! Can't you see how difficult this is?"

"It's not difficult. I didn't give them permission to break rule 12 and they didn't even care to use protection!"

"It wasn't like this!" Ziva shouted and walked in front of Gibbs. "We didn't break you precious rule because we are not together. I did not know we did not use protection and I doubt he even remembers when it happened! So if you are finished, will you excuse me, please. I have stuff to do!" she shouted and went to the door where Gibbs stopped her.

"You know how I feel about apologizing but if I wouldn't feel that way I would tell you that I'm sorry. Ziva!" he shouted when she wanted to turn away, he pulled her in a hug. She tried to pull away but his hold on her tightened and he forced her to look into his eyes.

"Ziva, you are like a daughter to me. I don't want you to get hurt. Not again." he said with an almost soft voice. He kissed her on the forehead and her face softened.

"I know how you think about apologizing but I do not care right now. I am sorry for shouting at you." she told him. She pulled away again and smiled sadly. She got stopped again when her hand was on the handle.

"Does he know?" Gibbs asked her. "No, I wanted to tell him now." She opened the door and exited Jenny's office.

"Good to know that you can still handle hard situations. And now go, I have a job to do." Jenny told him and returned to her desk while Gibbs closed the door behind him.

**xXx**

As Jenny observed the scene that played in front of her, she realized how much Ziva had grown since she came back. She let other people in, smiled more often and showed more of her emotions. And like right now she let other people hug her without feeling too uncomfortable.

And she noticed, again, how good Gibbs is with people he thinks of as his children. Those thoughts brought back a new wave of regrets but she quickly pushed it aside.

This moment was not for her and her thoughts.

**xXx**

Ziva descended the stairs, rounded the bull pen and stopped in front of Tony's desk but before she could start Tony jumped from an especially hard head-slap.

"Ow, what was that for?" he exclaimed. "You will know soon." Gibbs told him and walked to his desk where he threw an empty coffee cup in the waste basket.

"Tony, we need to talk." Ziva said. "Ok, then talk."

"Not here, elevator." She told him and walked away. Tony got up and followed her into the elevator.

The doors closed and the elevator came to like just to be stopped by Ziva in the next moment.

"So, what is so important that you can't tell in the bullpen?" Tony began. "Don't freak out. I am pregnant and you are the father." she said bluntly and didn't wait for his answer as she reached for the emergency button.

"Ziva, wait. You can't just get me in here, tell me I'm going to be a father and then expect from me to not say anything and leave you alone with a child. Just tell me when and how."

"After the _Damocles _disaster, at your apartment. We were drunk. Is this all and am I allowed to go back or do you need anything else?"

"No, just one more thing. I know we aren't together and stuff but I want to be there for you and our child. I want to help you, want to be there when you give birth."

"You don't have to. I don't need your pity. Don't waste your time on me when you want to slam a bimbo." Tony ignored her mistake for the moment. He grew frustrated. Why can't she just accept what he offered? Even if it was unexpected and not planned he was looking forward to becoming a father. She was the only one he wanted to be the mother of his child.

"Ziva" he started again and forced her to look in his eyes. "This is not pity and I don't want to _bang _a bimbo because I _want _to be there for you." _I want to be with you._

"Ok, good. Now I have to go make a doctor's appointment. I will tell you when I know." she said coldly. She switched the elevator back to life.

She may hold the façade of the cold hearted bitch but secretly she was relieved. He didn't abandon her and their child. She thought he would turn his back on them. Maybe they did have a chance together.

She didn't want her hopes to high up.

**xXx**

Tony watched as Ziva left the elevator and walked away. The doors closed behind her and he stopped the metal box again.

He needed a minute alone; needed to process the piece of information he was given. He was excited, scared and afraid of getting pushed away.

_Tony, Tony, Tony!!_

_Zee…...!_

_Ahhh, TONY!_

_Zee...vah…..._

_Tony…_

_I love you_

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_Strange isn't it?_

_The song I mentioned in the last chapter plays in_ Code of Conduct _and I put a link from youtube on my profile for everyone who wants to listen to it._

_Please review_


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